I get amnesia sometimes and feel like I’m alone.

20“I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word; 21that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me.

John 17 (New American Standard Bible.)  But that’s when I look away from God in me – the most important and only real “thing” that I have… I look at the world. I look at friends…and their absences. I look at my kids fighting. I look at the ways my husband is not able to be everything I need. I look at the created things and, without realizing it, lift them to the position of God – asking them to satisfy and provide for me what only He can give. I let the mind of flesh that wants to rule my soul be troubled, and I become afraid.

I’m suffering from amnesia.

I’m forgetting that God loved me. That Jesus didn’t place equality with God above the humility of obedience to God, who is love. God Himself is the love that allows me and whosoever will accept His Son to live forever free from the consequences of sin and separation. Jesus Christ laid down His equality with God with His life, valuing my freedom and actual, spiritual life.

I get busy worrying – about what it means that my kids are exposed to darkness. I let myself be anxious about what it means that I can’t always bring myself to be as present and caring a parent and wife as I would be, ideally… About why my friends forward my calls to voicemail… About why my social media posts don’t get more attention… About why some people are more like family than my own blood…

But I have been given peace by Jesus Christ – by His existence within me. And I have to turn my soul away from the discouragement and yearning that wants to drown me…toward the unchanging love who is God.

All the hell in my life has been and is intended to discourage me…so I might never see the beauty of today or, the beauty that’s yet to come.

Even when we lose people… We can know that we will see them again. Absent from the body is present…with the Lord.

Christ suffered for the sake of the world, so this fallen place might see the light. So, out into the fallen world of suffering, we – Christians, who have life and freedom through faith in the name of Jesus – shine like Him. And when we die, we gain our full inheritance – away and apart from all brokenness.

When amnesia sets in, remember the lesson of Esau👇🏾

29One day, while Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau came in from the field and was famished. 30He said to Jacob, “Let me eat some of that red stew, for I am famished.” (That is why he was also called Edom. ) 31“First sell me your birthright,” Jacob replied. 32“Look,” said Esau, “I am about to die, so what good is a birthright to me?” 33“Swear to me first,” Jacob said. So Esau swore to Jacob and sold him the birthright. 34Then Jacob gave some bread and lentil stew to Esau; he ate and drink, and then got up and went away. Thus Esau despised his birthright.

Genesis 25 (Berean Study Bible.)  Esau gave away his inheritance for the temporary and deceptive “fulfillment” of what amounted to a bowl of broth. When we’re looking for true fulfillment and satisfaction, no other source – aside from God in Christ – will do.