I love bringing people together. I love my friends. But sometimes, honestly, my friends come together…and annoy me 🤦🏽‍♀️ There are two usual reasons for this, and I think those feelings overlap: 1) Someone isn’t thinking before they act/speak or, 2) Someone is talking. Too much. And intensely. And about very un-fun topics.

What’s “un-fun”? Well… All I know is, I don’t want to feel like I’ve had to sit through a therapy session…mixed ☝🏾 with a custody hearing, a dollop of mediation, and a sprinkle of legal debate 🙄

Abuse and cheating and custody disputes and identity issues and abandonment are all really serious, truly important topics to share among friends… But not all the time. And not with expectation – that I understand; that I agree; or, that I even have a single thing to offer.

I’m not a person who will cry with you. I am not an on-demand emotions person; I process EVERYTHING. And I don’t want to nod at every single thing you have to say about religion or sex or, even raising your kids. So, I’m like a deer in headlights when friends are whipping their heads toward me and my silent processing, demanding, “Don’t you agree?!”

I get overwhelmed when we make circles round and round dark topics. I don’t even like to bring mine up, unless I think I might get good advice or encourage someone else.

Can’t we just order yummy appetizers and have entrees for lunch and laugh till we cry?

Friends who talk too much – rhetorical Terminators, who don’t let anyone breathe before stepping onto the last word with a whole ‘nother tale of woe – remind me of friends who don’t think. They both lack awareness.

Friends who don’t think, say things about other friends we agreed not to bring up. When you think you look nice in your new shirt with its keyhole front, she says, All you need is a push-up bra, ruining the entire rest of breakfast. They invite people to get-togethers when, in fact, they are virtual strangers to your unthinking friend! 🤷🏽‍♀️ I take issue with that.

When a friend introduces me to someone, I take that as an authoritative recommendation! And if it’s not, don’t introduce them to me!

So, as much as I love bringing people together, I hate when I feel relieved as I leave a gathering of friends.

That said, friendship is an amazing blessing! That doesn’t make friendship perfect.