What am I talking about now? Basically: We always have room for more – if we want it badly enough.

I’ve talked about this before as priorities and making time for the things that matter. But I’ve only now realized that that is a great example of yours and my “second stomach.”

The first time I ever thought of this was in regard to dessert: I realized that while I might be full of salad and savory dishes…I could make room for cheesecake or carrot cake or cookies and ice cream or, a bowl of “dessert cereal.” 🥣 If you don’t know what that is, I probably will not address it in a separate blog post.

I was talking to my stylist the other day, asking how long she thought my entire process would take. I wanted to “catch a show” with Hubby afterwards. Somehow, in the discussion, she mentioned her “second stomach.”

Oh, I love popcorn 🍿, she said. Even if I’m totally full, I can always eat some popcorn. You know? She asked, pausing to make eye contact. I did know.

“Second stomach,” I said, and she nodded.

Later I came to realize a new thing about my own “second stomach;” I have one for people.

Even if it’s really hard for me, I will make time to catch up. Even if it’s a hardship, I’ll drive out to meet you. To help you. For my kids, I’ll go without eating or sleeping and risk ultimate discomfort. For my friends, I’ll battle elements – emotional and seasonal – to sustain, develop, and grow connection and my friends’ sense of being loved. Special to me… And my friends are special to me.

But then there’s the issue of whether it’s coming back: Do you have a “second stomach” for me, and is my investment and willingness reciprocated?

Reciprocity has little if anything at all to do with my kids. The same goes for their daddy. In other words, we don’t do things to hear our children praise us or thank us. And we definitely don’t paint their rooms according to their whims and buy them toys and take them places – in hopes that one day they’ll do it for us. The worries of one day are sufficient for the day, and it’s darned near impossible to imagine the days when we will be able to (or, want to) lean any weight on our children (who I still refer to as “my babies”).

But when it comes to friends, part of what I’m learning about loving boundaries is: Reciprocity is something I expect. Not a mercenary 1:1 system according to which I keep a dry record of matching actions or behaviors.

God forbid!

But, as I’ve also said before: Your heart knows.

And when the scales tip uncomfortably, leaving you exposed to overextension and overwhelm, that’s probably a good time to pull back and reevaluate where your resources are best spent. Locate Jesus, and pray about it.